Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clangling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind... 1 Cor. 13:1-4a
Today I celebrate 38 years of marriage to my life-long friend. He and I celebrated for three days but I realize that mature love doesn't require all the flim flam I thought I needed when I was younger. I met my husband at 17 years old and married him at 19. We were kids who knew nothing about life but we decided to tie the knot and make a go at it. When we were newlyweds, my husband and I watched a tour bus that was parked outside of a hotel with a bus load of silver haired senior citizens exiting the bus. There was a couple who was probably in their late seventies holding hands and helping one another exit the bus and retrieve their luggage. They were the most beautiful sight to me and I knew immediately that I wanted us to grow old together and I told my husband my desire. I knew I was in this for the long haul and I was excited about it.
In thirty eight years there has been lots of laughs, joys, sadness, tears, happiness, disappointments and successes. The one thing I know for sure is that we have needed the patience of God to endure. A couple will journey through tons of mountain high experiences and valley lows. I can't imagine being married without being filled with the Holy Spirit and having to lean on Him for strength. Every emotion God created in us will be tested. A man and woman join themselves in marriage and then spend their lives hopefully moving into the direction of agape love. The marriage relationship should reflect the relationship between Father and Christ. We spend a lifetime together to get it right and to demonstrate godliness in the home. Marriage is not an easy thing to do. It is hard work but anything that is valuable is worth the work. That means working at communication when you really don't feel like talking; honesty when you don't want to reveal what's going on in your heart; or asking God to place a guard over your tongue instead of saying what you really want to say. Just because we are familiar with one another doesn't mean that we can have free range to say hurtful things to one another.
God has not left us without the tool for success and that tool is His Word. If we follow God's Word it will bring much peace in times of trouble. The Book of first Corinthian 13 is the plumb line for marriage or any relationship. If followed, it will net years of blessings in your life. I run back to the Word to strengthen me and to refocus myself when I am off. No one wants to be wrong but if we follow the Word of God we are able to truly see ourselves or decide not to walk with hurt feelings for love take no account of wrongs done to it. Deep stuff but Father knows best!
I was in a store yesterday and I read a plaque that said, "life is not counted by how many breaths you take but on the moments that take your breath away." When I reflect on the 38 years; my husband has taken my breath away so many times. The moments he has been wonderful has far outweighted the moments he has been in the negative zone. I asked God to let me soar in agape love and to see my husband as He sees him. That is when my breath is taken away over and over again. I now know that God is the missing ingredient in most relationships. When we can understand His love then we can understand how to function in loving, healthy relationships. We will understand forgiveness and letting go of the negative stuff.
So, I sit here today thanking God for the thirty eight years with my friend. Whatever years we have left on this earth I will make sure with everything in me that the Holy Spirit will be the third person in our marriage and that we are wrapped with a three-fold cord of God's love; Holy Spirit, Marvin and me. I pray that his life is comfortable and that he is able to fulfil some of his dreams while he still has his health and is able to enjoy life. I pray for him; for his peace of mind and for his strength. I pray that he have wonderful encounters with God and that his latter days are greater than his former days. I look forward to us growing old together and maturing in the goodness of God's love.
Is marriage easy? Not at all. It is probably the most difficult relationship on the planet but God created marriage and said it is good. God said it is not good for the man to be alone and created a companion for him. We are to walk side by side in love. As the years past and our love grows, it changes as we mature in God and move into greater realms of marital friendship. If you are struggling in your marriage, trust God to intervene and stand on the His promises to bless your marriage as you obey His Word.
That is why sometimes people look for love in all the wrong places because it is not good for man to be alone. Man's spirit recognizes this and seeks after companionship. Looking to see our spouces as God sees them is the best way to love them - unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteWhen we go into marriage looking to fix one another, we have already began to tear down the union and undermine the relationship. If we sought God when we (women) were found, then know that God will place His creation back upon the potter's wheel and make us over again. We did not create one another so how can we fix what we ourselves did not design.
A loving marriage takes you through every emotion on the emotion wheel and you can go though it together as you walk this agape' love thing out! The sparkle does not go away - just clean your glasses or get some contact lens. He or she is still cute to you!
Congratulations, Cynthia and Marvin for walking 38 years together...Sherri
Your second paragraph is absolutely powerful. You said a mouthful in it. If we would only come into the understanding that God will place us back on the wheel and make us over again. The process is painful but God desires to develop
ReplyDeletethe fruit of the Spirit in us as we demonstrate His plan of unity and agreement in the earth. Thank you for adding such a rich flavor to the blog.